Mr Apples
"Each life should follow its passion. We know our loves, and tend them on behalf of the Bazaar. This, at least, is an arrangement that satisfies all."[1]
Mr Apples is a darkly cheery and overly familiar Curator who serves as a Master of the Bazaar. Mr Hearts is its alternate trade name in London.
In the Sunless Skies timeline, it resides in the High Wilderness as the Chiropterous Hoarder.
The Affable Master[edit | edit source]
"Fruits, bread, vegetables, barley, horse mushrooms and so forth... Immortality."[2]
"Fresh meats! Rich and red!"[3]

Mr Apples governs trade in fruit, grain, vegetables, edible mushrooms,[2] and wood.[4] It also sells immortality[2] and that which is immortal[5] — famously including Hesperidean Cider, a drink of eternal life that fetches a staggering price at the Bazaar.[6] As Mr Hearts,[7] this Master also controls trade in all manner of meat,[3] especially offal and exotic meats;[8] it is considered the finest butcher in London, and Hearts' butcher's tools are legendary among the city's chefs.[9] Most of the London public does not know Mr Apples and Mr Hearts are the same being,[10] and the Masters have no intention of making that fact clear.[11]
Mr Hearts runs a stall in the Labyrinth of Tigers, though its wares are not for the faint of heart.[12] After the Great Hellbound Railway established a station at Ealing Gardens, it also opened a butcher's shop there.[13]
Mr Apples is rumored to have been called Mr Barley in the past.[14] During the Third City,[15] Mr Hearts was known as the Lord of Blood;[16][17] During the Fourth City, Mr Apples was known as the Khan of Roots, and Mr Hearts was the Khan of Hearts.[18] In the Sunless Skies timeline, the Cult of the Sanctified at Avid Horizon call Mr Apples the Paradisal Saint, and Mr Hearts the Saint of Flesh.[19]
Appearance and Personality[edit | edit source]
"Mr Apples' eyes are pinpricks of diamond-hard light in the inky tapestry of its hood."[20] "Mr Apples seems delighted to see you. It presses honeyed wine on you and insists you try a variety of preserved fruits imported at tremendous expense from the Elder Continent."[10]
As a Master, Mr Apples wears the standard attire[21] of an all-encompassing hooded cloak and gloves to conceal its talons;[22][23] only its eyes are left visible.[24] Mr Hearts is said to have an "unmistakable bulk."[25]

Mr Apples has an affable and pleasant personality. It converses freely with its favored citizens of London, and has a warm and familiar demeanor.[26] It has a fondness for gambling,[27] reading,[28] conducting experiments,[29] and tinkering with machinery.[30] That said, it is still well-aware of its role and position as a Master, and will admonish those who overstep[31] or question the Masters' administration.[32] In its guise as Mr Hearts, it has noted that it views its employment as an arrangement of mutual benefit; it sees itself free to pursue its passions and interests on the Bazaar's behalf,[33] and enjoys cultivating love stories for the Bazaar.[34]
Apples is aware of the Great Chain of Being,[35] but does not seem interested in abiding by its restrictions. In its lab, it experiments with immortality[29] and amalgamy,[36] creating oddities like a stuffed Bound-Shark plaque that is still alive,[37][38] and a near-immortal entity contained within a jar.[39] As Mr Hearts, it experiments with new butchery tools in its kitchen,[40][41] and has devised a machine for slicing meats.[42]
As the Chiropterous Hoarder, Apples wears a red cloak that leaves its bat-like face and silhouette visible.[43][44] Its claws are uncovered[45] and it has dark-colored eyes.[43] It is still affable and is eager about its goals,[46] but it is also nervous,[47] suspicious,[48] and insecure.[49] It is unfamiliar with friendship[44] and charity, and it sees these concepts as puzzling.[50]

Mr Apples is supposedly an ally of Mr Veils.[51] It is familiar with fellow Curator Mr Barleycorn[52] and is fond of the merchandise sold by Mr Menagerie.[53] However, it harbors a strong dislike for Mr Pennies,[54][55] and does not seem particularly fond of most other Curators in the High Wilderness.[56] Every year, as Mr Hearts, it sends Mr Iron a Key-to-Heart Dagger, which Mr Iron quickly auctions off to the public.[57] It is said that the reasons for this practice are encoded in the mysterious Crimson Book.[58]
Empyrean Redolence[edit | edit source]
"Hell's army grows with each breath you draw! No time to waste. None at all. Right, you're here to help me with my beasts. I'm breeding hunting beasts. To hunt devils! They need to be strong, and vicious, and pious!"[59]
"Mr Hearts produces a tatty square of supple leather from under its inky cloak and drops it on your table. Gaslights flicker as you scan the recipe. Cinnabar, hydrogen, salts of iron, tears of those who never loved... Your vision clouds to black as you read the parts written in the Correspondence. When you can see again, Mr Hearts is gone."[60]

Within the Fourth Coil of the Labyrinth of Tigers stands a breeding facility[59] managed by the Bishop of Southwark.[61] He plans on leading a charge against Hell, and is breeding creatures from across the Neath with a "wings-of-thunder bat" in his barn[62][63] to create war-beasts for his army.[64][65] The Bishop does not realize, however, that the "bat" in the barn is Mr Hearts in disguise;[66] when the Bishop sends it an animal to "breed" with, Hearts apparently eats the animal alive and produces a new being immediately after.[67][68] To "improve" the results of this process, Hearts developed a mysterious substance called Empyrean Redolence, consisting of "cinnabar, hydrogen, salts of iron," the "tears of those who never loved," and other ingredients or steps.[69] The reason for Mr Hearts' odd practice is unclear, but if nothing else, the results may provide the Masters with dinner.[70] As for the Bishop's plan, the Masters are wholly unconcerned.[71]
How Marvellous[edit | edit source]
"I was very old then. Lived too long, bored out of my gourd. I went to one of the Lords: the Lord of Blood. I beseeched it. Begged it to give me my heart's desire. The Lords, who had themselves grown restless, devised the game: the Marvellous.[16]

During the era of the Third City,[15] a very, very old man from the First City begged Mr Hearts, who at the time was known as the Lord of Blood, to grant him his heart's desire. In response, Hearts along with the other Lords devised the game called the Marvellous, finding six other players and using First City Coins as a stake in the weary man's honor.[72]
As of the Fifth City, Mr Hearts personally supervises the final round of the Marvellous in the center of the Echo Bazaar.[73] It also oversees the ceremony in which winners of the Marvellous receive their wish.[74] Hearts holds the Marvellous to great esteem, but the other Masters do not share this sentiment and see it only as a distraction.[75]
The Skies[edit | edit source]
"The Wilderness – lush and velveted with so many treasures, so many hungry tastes. There were others with me, yes. But none of them were as clever as me. I know how to make immortality. I know how to make collections that last. And this is why I must be careful, be small now."[48]

Mr Apples, like the rest of the Masters, is a Curator,[76] a bat-like being who once roamed the High Wilderness in search of treasures for its hoard.[77] Apples' knowledge of techniques of immortality and preservation got it into trouble with other Curators,[78] and its transgressions eventually forced it into servitude under the Echo Bazaar.[79]
In the Sunless Skies timeline, most of the Masters stayed behind with the Bazaar in the Sixth City. However, a few, including Mr Apples, followed London to the High Wilderness.[80] Now known as the Chiropterous Hoarder,[81] Apples resides in New London. It lives in a shop that once sold Hesperidean Cider,[82] but its supply has run out, so the shop has been closed[83] and left disused.[84] Since the Masters have been declared enemies of the empire,[85] the Hoarder keeps a low profile,[86] but it seeks to amass a collection of immortality.[87] Ultimately, it wishes to become immortal itself, as the crown jewel of its own collection.[88]
References[edit | edit source]
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