Goat-Demons

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"Beside the tracks, goat-demons are munching on straggling briar patches. And on numerous bones protruding from the ground, which are vastly more pervasive in this area than any plant. One goat-demon glares at you, gnawing a femur with determination."[1]

Goat-demons are sapient goatlike beings of infernal provenance.

Bleating[edit | edit source]

"You're not alone in this matter, either. Some splinter faction of Hell has taken an interest. Everywhere you go, the Goat-Demon is ahead of you, menacing witnesses, stepping on leads. This might prove inconvenient."[2]

Goat-demons are typically encountered as staff of the Brass Embassy in London,[3] and they are employed as enforcers for various infernal factions within Hell.[4][5] They are regarded as the servant class of Hell,[6] carrying out the work that devils prefer not to sully their hands with.[7]

Goat Biology[edit | edit source]

"The Goat-Demon is about 800 pounds of shaggy muscle, and surprisingly agile to boot. And boot he does – first in the stomach to make you double over, then he jumps on your back to drive you to the ground. Matters do not improve from there."[8]

Goat-demons are massive, immensely strong creatures.[9] Though they are typically bipedal,[10] they often drop to all fours when eating or running.[11] Their bodies combine caprine and demonic traits: heavy horns for devastating headbutts,[12] hooved feet capable of bone-breaking kicks,[13][14] and taloned but otherwise humanoid hands.[15][16] Some goat-demons, however, have hooves in place of hands altogether.[17] Their body temperature is high enough[18] that touching them can cause second-degree burns,[19] and some goat-demons can even exhale small bursts of flame.[10] They are not without vulnerabilities; attar can incapacitate them on contact.[20][21]

A goat-demon's jaw is powerful enough to crush bone,[12] and their appetites are essentially indiscriminate, including plants, bones,[22] metal, books,[23] and entire animals (even large ones like horses).[24] Their laughter and smiles are said to be deeply unsettling to behold.[25][26] Goat-demons can sniff out souls even though souls are scentless,[27] and are compelled by instinct to catalogue and assess them.[28][29]

Goat-demon hide can be made into a highly flammable vellum, popular with scholars who want to prevent their work from falling into the wrong hands.[30]

Goat Culture[edit | edit source]

"When I was still back in London, I mean. That's when I heard this gossip. Nobody's been around here to chinwag except for a few goat-demons, and I can never tell what they're saying half the time. It's either perfectly proper English or some infernal barnyard babble. Sometimes I think they're doing it on purpose. Then I look at them again and know better."[31]

Goat-demons wear shoes[32] and clothing when required,[33][34] though their feral nature is never far beneath the surface.[35] Despite their hairy coats, long beards,[36] and bestial appearance,[37] they are fully sapient, speaking perfect English when it suits them.[38] At other times they lapse into their native infernal tongues[39] or simply bleat like common goats.[40]

Caprine History[edit | edit source]

Spoilers do not lie ahead for the Discordant Studies storyline from Fallen London.

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"Hell did not always have our allegiance. Here, [...] Some local goat-history, written by hoof. You should find it informative. Especially since you have read the most agreeable Discordant Law yourself. This book does not chronicle the history before our history with Hell, but it tells enough."[41]

"[...] You will understand, before the skull relinquishes its grip and you find yourself sorting through dust-covered archives, how two beasts can grow into one. How disparate components can agree. But you won't discover, amongst the fossils catalogued here at the University, any bones that resemble the first beast. The second, of course, is a goat."[42]

Goat-demons were not always bound to the service of Hell.[43] They are native to the region, predating even the arrival of the devils themselves.[44] When the Black still held court, it fused its demonic courtiers with goats through a Discordant Law;[45] the hybrids created by this act were then doubled again and again under another Discordant Law.[46] From these unions arose the goat-demons. In modern times, however, goat-demons are implied to reproduce in an at least slightly more "ordinary" fashion.[47][48]

The Standing Stones at the Hurlers are not goat-demons. They are not playing hurling.[49] They were not the the Black's courtiers that were transformed into the Standing Stones when its court was erased from existence.[50]

The Saint of Goats[edit | edit source]

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"St Trezigor, they say, came to Hell, half-eaten. He preached amidst the native Goat-folk who dwelled in its shadow. He learned the Law of Hell, such that he was able to alter himself just as he altered them. [...]"[51]

Milton wearing the Hallowmas mask of St Trezigor

Long ago, a goldsmith by the name of Eligius went to Hell to preach to the goat-demons that lived outside the White City. From them, he learned the Law of Hell[52] and gained the ability to "enlarge his own" soul[53] and alter his physical form through the lily-rites.[54] He gave himself a goat's face and taught the goat-demons language in return for their aid.[55]

After this, he entered Hell to preach to its denizens;[55] under the alias of Trezigor,[56] and became the goat-demons' patron saint.[57] He even established a monastery, now long abandoned, where goat-demon monks lived lives of solitary asceticism and poverty.[58][59] Eventually, the rulers of Hell grew weary of his heresies,[60] and Trezigor and his followers were executed, extinguishing their order.[61] Today, the saint is remembered only faintly, his name nearly lost to history.[57]

References[edit | edit source]

  1. ↑ Grazing Goat-Demons, Fallen London
  2. ↑ On the Trail, Fallen London
  3. ↑ Offer a great many souls to the Embassy, Fallen London "A lumbering goat-demon handles the large trades."
  4. ↑ Put up a statue honouring Goat-Demons, Fallen London "They aren't just servants at Hell's disposal. They deserve a little more respect!"
  5. ↑ On the Trail, Fallen London "You're not alone in this matter, either. Some splinter faction of Hell has taken an interest. Everywhere you go, the Goat-Demon is ahead of you, menacing witnesses, stepping on leads. This might prove inconvenient."
  6. ↑ Submit the complaints to Virginia, Fallen London "[...] Virginia [...] does provide advice on how to manage 'insubordinate inclinations amongst the demonic servant class'. Her suggestions are not conventionally therapeutic and, indeed, appear to encourage insubordination. But you don't own half enough bear-traps."
  7. ↑ The Embassy, Still, Fallen London "The interior of the Brass Embassy is too warm, and too quiet. The former is normal; the latter, not. The place normally crawls with devils, watching visitors with wry amusement and fobbing the duties of moment-to-moment administration off on furious goat-demons. [...]"
  8. ↑ Tackle the Goat-Demon head on, Fallen London
  9. ↑ Tackle the Goat-Demon head on, Fallen London "The Goat-Demon is about 800 pounds of shaggy muscle, and surprisingly agile to boot."
  10. ↑ 10.0 10.1 Wreck of the Berrenger: A Goat Demon Stands Guard, Sunless Skies "This one is typically hirsute and enormous. Its hooves are planted squarely before the door to the Contriver's laboratory, its arms folded across its chest. It huffs in warning."
  11. ↑ Do nothing to interfere, Fallen London "You don't have horns. You don't have hooves. You don't hold a hurling stick clenched between your teeth and trample other goat-demons as you careen across the field, bouncing the sliotar upon your stick."
  12. ↑ 12.0 12.1 Try to pet one, Fallen London "The goat-demon whose horns are currently aimed at your backside like battering rams probably isn't going to help either."
  13. ↑ Uncooperative, Fallen London "A goat-demon […] has stubbornly planted its hooves on the ice. It kicks anyone who comes near, including other players on its team. It has absolutely no reason to behave with such terrible sportsmanship, which is more than adequate reason […]"
  14. ↑ Break a goat-demon free, Fallen London "These goat-demons really must watch where they're putting their hooves! One nearly kicks your head as it breaks through the ice that you've cracked."
  15. ↑ Offer a great many souls to the Embassy, Fallen London "The demon looks like it could crush stone with those talons, but it stacks the bottles with dainty precision. The cart with your sherry will be round tomorrow."
  16. ↑ The Brass Grail, Fallen London "The demon screams like a choir of steam-whistles and lashes about with his meaty fists."
  17. ↑ Find the Caprine Vagabond in the herd, Fallen London "The Vagabond smacks two hooves over its mouth."
  18. ↑ The Brass Grail, Fallen London "You smash into him with a big left and Yule Lad's fur starts smoking."
  19. ↑ Try to pet one, Fallen London "You're lucky you escaped with just mild burns on your palm. Of course, those burns will blister and develop into quite a nasty rash, but that's the price for petting an infernal goat."
  20. ↑ Attar of Roses, Fallen London ""And if you brush Goat-Demons with Attar, and Spices to disperse that Rosy Perfume throughout all the Air, their Strength shall wane." At least, that's according to the Malleus Capraficarum. But there's no reason that principles from an outdated treatise on demonic animal husbandry shouldn't also apply to intramural sports."
  21. ↑ Don't scatter Attar across the field, Fallen London "In the rose-red hurricane that blows across the field [...] the hyphen that joins 'goat' with 'demon' is threatening to pop like a loose screw. Crimson dust obscures the game, but you can still hear something bleat from deep within the cloud. When the dust settles, the goat-demons are sprawled in twitching heaps, as though a champion prize-fighter had just strolled through and clobbered every one."
  22. ↑ Grazing Goat-Demons, Fallen London "Beside the tracks, goat-demons are munching on straggling briar patches. And on numerous bones protruding from the ground, which are vastly more pervasive in this area than any plant."
  23. ↑ Invite a Disembarking Deviless to renew excavations, Fallen London "At around the same time, multiple goat-demons stampede through your excavation camp, gnawing your shovels to stumps and thoroughly masticating all your reference books. At least they had the courtesy to leave a parting gift in the rubble."
  24. ↑ Breed the Plated Seal, Fallen London "[…] The Bishop stands […] lost in thought. […] 'I was there, you know. At the last charge. I was in the Guards back then. A goat-demon pulled my horse from under me and ate it before my eyes. […]'"
  25. ↑ Discuss the Hurlers, Fallen London "If this is how goat-demons smile, it's a good thing they don't smile too often."
  26. ↑ Simply nod and enter, Sunless Skies "You tell a joke, the punchline of which would only be understood by devils, their intimates, and their minions (is there any difference between the last two?). Chuckling – a sound like a bear being strangled – the goat demon pushes the door open for you."
  27. ↑ Souls for Bait, Fallen London "You don't hear a collective inhalation. Goat-demons aren't closing their eyes to sniff harder. They can't smell something with no aroma. They wouldn't come to collect it. Not if you don't lay it down as bait. That might disrupt the game, and Heaven knows (and Hell does too) that this game doesn't need any further interruptions."
  28. ↑ Bait a trap for the First Circle, Fallen London "Nothing is more dependable than a goat-demon's attraction to a soul. Goat-demons from the First Circle are already bringing out weights and measures in order to assess these souls' value. One goat-demon in spectacles drops a soul into an alembic and shakes it around. Others take notes on clipboards before getting distracted and starting to chew their pencils."
  29. ↑ Try to bribe it, Sunless Skies "Goat demons covet rare souls. No one's sure what they do with them."
  30. ↑ Research the connection between ashes and honey, Fallen London "Ash leads to fire, and fire – inevitably – to Hell. In Tregeagle's Infernal Industry, you find a reference to Caprine vellum, 'gathered from goat-demons in the usual manner of vellum' (charming) 'it ignites at the merest spark, and once lit will not be quenched – even if submerged – until consumed to ash. It burns with a strong honey-smell.' It is popular with more experimental Benthic scholars, who may have cause to dispose of research notes in a hurry."
  31. ↑ Trade rumours with the Calculating Lapidary, Fallen London
  32. ↑ Watch the storm break, Fallen London "[...] the ground hasn't been torn to pieces by athletic footwear. One goat-demon with the Second Circle isn't unlacing a shoe because its cleats are still planted too deeply in an opposing goat-demon's hindquarters."
  33. ↑ A dance with devils!, Fallen London "The Brass Embassy's annual ball is fast approaching. Already, stiff-collared goat-demons carry scented invitations to those lucky enough to be on the guest list."
  34. ↑ Cloud your vision with Queenly Attar, Fallen London "[...] One Steward doesn't extend an open palm, and a goat-demon in a nurse's uniform doesn't pass over a loaded syringe."
  35. ↑ Tending the Hurlers, Fallen London "When they aren't doing nothing, the goat-demons require pampering. […] There's absolutely no coercion, and the goat-demons never make threats about what they would do if their […] peppercaps weren't provided or their coats brushed less than twice daily."
  36. ↑ Make a perfectly illicit move, Fallen London "[...] It is a bishop with a beard, and horns, and hooves [...]"
  37. ↑ The Caprine Vagabond, Fallen London "Even the goatiest goat-demons aren't this gargantuan. It's as if the Caprine Vagabond has grown as mountains grow – over centuries, millennia – gradually amassing more flesh, fur, and frost in thickening layers. Ancient ice encrusts its horns, which must each weigh more than a typical goat's whole body."
  38. ↑ Easy money?, Fallen London ""It's pure monkey work," says the corpulent goat-demon at the warehouse gate. "Just stay awake, keep an eye on the stock and make sure nothing escapes. You don't scare easily, do you?""
  39. ↑ Trade rumours with the Calculating Lapidary, Fallen London "Nobody's been around here to chinwag except for a few goat-demons, and I can never tell what they're saying half the time. It's either perfectly proper English or some infernal barnyard babble."
  40. ↑ Hot Spring Services, Fallen London "[...] all the water has crystallised around a few unlucky goat-demons who didn't get out in time. Now they're bleating what can only be complaints against the management."
  41. ↑ Find the Caprine Vagabond in the herd, Fallen London
  42. ↑ Converse with a Doubled Skull, Fallen London
  43. ↑ Find the Caprine Vagabond in the herd, Fallen London "Hell did not always have our allegiance. Here, [...] Some local goat-history, written by hoof. You should find it informative. Especially since you have read the most agreeable Discordant Law yourself. This book does not chronicle the history before our history with Hell, but it tells enough."
  44. ↑ Speak to her about the symbol she wrote, Fallen London "About where she saw the sigil written. About the biting cold, a castle in the ice, the goats with the red eyes ("they were in Hell before the Devils came")."
  45. ↑ Converse with a Doubled Skull, Fallen London "Don't fight. Your tools are useless now. You will understand, before the skull relinquishes its grip and you find yourself sorting through dust-covered archives, how two beasts can grow into one. How disparate components can agree. But you won't discover, amongst the fossils catalogued here at the University, any bones that resemble the first beast. The second, of course, is a goat."
  46. ↑ Find the Caprine Vagabond in the herd, Fallen London ""Well? [...] This is what you wanted to talk about, isn't it? When you can see for yourself, then there's no need to talk. You can see for yourself, can't you?" You can certainly see the Vagabond nodding at the other goat-demons and waggling its eyebrows. [...]" [Editor's Note: The Discordant Law the Vagabond is not talking about is: "no single thing shall be a single thing"]
  47. ↑ Find the Caprine Vagabond in the herd, Fallen London ""Nowadays, of course, more goat-demons are just made in the normal way." It doesn't specify what the 'normal way' means for goat-demons."
  48. ↑ The Brass Grail, Fallen London "You grab Yule Lad by his goaty unmentionables and you twist." [Editor's note: Well, they certainly do have unmentionables.]
  49. ↑ Don't talk about the game, Fallen London "This is a game that never ends, just as it never began. It isn't played by two teams, and the manner in which their players are arranged, which depends on whichever team isn't winning, doesn't determine how the Hurlers are also arranged. Because these are the Hurlers. Because there is no difference between the standing stones atop the hill, and these goat-demons."
  50. ↑ Walk the lower galleries, Fallen London "Shadows trail you down the corridors, [...] they might have horns. They might have hooves. [...] "Not every courtier suffered the same fate," the Anchoress explains. "Some are different now, yet still the same. They entertained the court. They played a game." [...] Their shadows still play on the walls, passing a round silhouette back and forth. They move ahead, leave you behind, chasing the silhouette."
  51. ↑ Moss: Purloined Books, Mask of the Rose
  52. ↑ Moss: Purloined Books, Mask of the Rose "St Trezigor, they say, came to Hell, half-eaten. He preached amidst the native Goat-folk who dwelled in its shadow. He learned the Law of Hell, such that he was able to alter himself just as he altered them. [...]"
  53. ↑ Milton: Saint Eligius, Mask of the Rose "[...] He learned techniques of souls from us. And enlarged his own, as was the practice of our saints."
  54. ↑ Invitation to the Lily-rites, Fallen London ""[The Lily-rites] offends the stars, [...] It invites other creatures to cross the borders set by their own nature, and to share the dignities of Hell, if they have the skill. And it usually perturbs a soul in an interesting direction." Verity tells you then a story of Saint Trezigor, who was not always as he appeared in his late days. But he had a message for Hell, and rather than leave it silent, he transformed himself in order to become its messenger. His followers suffered the consequences, perhaps, but all transformations have a price."
  55. ↑ 55.0 55.1 Moss: Purloined Books, Mask of the Rose "[...] He taught them language in return. And then, wearing his new face, he entered Hell. To preach the same to those that dwelled there."
  56. ↑ Moss: Purloined Books, Mask of the Rose "Hagiography is rarely the full story. I look deeper. The categorisation is neither chronological nor alphabetical. The collection is, instead, thematic. Once I have grasped this, I realise that Eligius has been grouped with another saint. Their name is Trezigor. Like Eligius, they have but one volume. I take that too."
  57. ↑ 57.0 57.1 Spread the gospel of a suspect saint, Fallen London "Saint Trezigor is the almost-forgotten patron of the goat-demons [...]"
  58. ↑ Saint Trezigor's Folly, Fallen London "The tunnel leads you inside the wall; [...] the wall is riddled with warrens. [...] through tunnels and empty chambers [...] high-ceilinged domiciles and abandoned halls."
  59. ↑ Explore the Folly, Fallen London "[...] misshapen hairy robes, [...] floors are chipped, as though [...] goat-demons processed through [...] Those that dwelled here did so in poverty and hermetic solitude. They are most likely dead. The many long, misshapen bones you find are testament to that."
  60. ↑ Virginia: Saint Eligius, Mask of the Rose "There are no saints but ours, and they are dead. Eligius was one of ours, I think. He perished in Hell, for disobeying the other Princes. He sought to knot our souls, so all were equal. The Equality of Roses was his heresy."
  61. ↑ Consume the confession of (Inhabitant), Fallen London "[...] The words are not in English, but in the script reserved for the writings of Saint Trezigor. There are forms of delusion that are shared among an abbey at once–Get to the end and you will understand how a whole sect may lose its soul in no more time than it takes to toll a bell; and how their abbot feels, upon seeing the destruction of his flock. Best not eat this one. Best to feed it to a goat. That devil was not so youthful as he looked."
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