"There are some things we were not meant to know, they say. But you wouldn't be down here if you took that seriously."
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"F.F. Gebrandt CORDIALLY INVITES All Londoners to participate in the Raising & Assemblage of a New Museum of Prelapsarian History & accompanying Exhibition..."[1]
The Prelapsarian Exhibition was a notable event of 1899 II, during which London collaborated to establish the Museum of Prelapsarian History — only to find itself fending off an ushabti invasion.
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F. F. Gebrandt
Two years after her electoral defeat, F. F. Gebrandt finally made good on one of her campaign promises: the construction of a grand museum. In the summer of the second year of 1899, she announced in the Unexpurgated London Gazette that she would be spearheading the establishment of the Museum of Prelapsarian History in Veilgarden. The Prelapsarian Exhibition called upon Londoners to transform an abandoned estate—once owned by the enigmatic Mssr. M_____—into a museum, contributing exhibits of historical, paleontological, and philosophical significance.[2]
Mssr. M_____ was a figure of mystery, an individual of unclear origins and even murkier finances. His once-grand estate, now abandoned, was chosen as the site for Gebrandt’s museum.[3] Londoners took part in the transformation of the mansion into an archaeological institute, knocking down walls,[4] negotiating with resident rats squatting on the property,[5] and securing funding from investors.[6] One of the more peculiar materials incorporated into the Museum’s construction was sphinxstone,[7] which played a crucial role in the maintenance of an unspecified machine.[8] The museum’s development also attracted attention from the Department of Urban Planning and Spatial Integrity[9] (or was it the Department of Parks, Cemeteries, & Public Amenities?), which required a significant amount of bribery to grease the bureaucratic gears.[10]The Veteran Privy Counsellor also took an odd interest in the project.[11] Funding also came from a unique currency: golden-hued coins, minted in Gebrandt’s factories,[12] redeemable for merchandise within the Museum.[13] Additionally, Gebrandt inaugurated F.F. Gebrandt’s Hall of Recent History, a marketplace for donated items that, while not strictly prelapsarian, still held interest.[14]
The Museum of Prelapsarian History
The Museum’s wings each had a distinct purpose. The Palaeontology Wing (or the Natural History Wing) sought to counteract the misinformation and charlatanry rampant in the Bone Market. Every specimen underwent meticulous examination[15] in the Osteology Lab before acceptance.[16] The Natural Sciences Wing showcased recent breakthroughs in chemistry and physics, with a special focus on Neathy optics—phenomena of light that could exist only in darkness.[17] The optic exhibits were later repurposed into a smalller wing called the Inorganic Sciences Wing.[18] The Archaeology Wing (informally the Egyptology Wing, the Masters allowed Gebrandt to display Second City artifacts, but not to directly call it that)[19] contained the Museum’s main purpose, which was to present history unvarnished—free from myth and distortion. Curators prepared to examine thousands of artifacts from previous Fallen Cities.[20]
Upon completion, the Museum of Prelapsarian History was opened with great fanfare. His Amused Lordship, delighted to finally host a celebration after the cancellation of his Revel to End All Revels, organized a grand festival on the museum grounds, repurchasing many of the wines he had previously sold off.[21]
The Empress herself, accompanied by a retinue of courtiers, paid a sudden visit to the Museum’s Egyptology Wing—the final resting place of the imported sphinxstone from the Salt Lions.[22] It was then revealed that, under imperial directive, Gebrandt had constructed a time machine of sorts,[23] —an apparatus designed to summon an apparition of the Prince Consort.[24] When Albert’s time-displaced self appeared, he was visibly distressed and begged the Empress to cease whatever it was she was hoping to do. [25] Gebrandt informed the Empress that she would have only a short while with the past-Consort before the machine overloads. When it eventually did, she attempted to intervene, but was stopped by the lovelorn and grieving Empress.[26]
The moment the device collapsed, space-time itself ruptured. Those present were struck with nausea as reality twisted around them.[27] The disturbance also had an unforeseen consequence: it caused Second City to manifest across London, and, more alarmingly, unleashed an invasion of ushabtiu, animated stone constructs.[28] These creatures, initially collected and sold en masse by enterprising merchants,[29] proved more troublesome than anticipated. Though they resembled funerary figurines, they moved with a will of their own, vandalizing property, playing pranks, and generally causing havoc.[30]
An ushabti
Angry Londoners quickly traced the catastrophe back to Gebrandt’s Museum. A mob assembled, demanding answers.[31] Gebrandt calmed the crowd and invited them inside to discuss a solution.[32] Through investigation, it was determined that these constructs had been Second City dwellers whose mind fled to Parabola, leaving their bodies within the stone containers, which now possesses a malevolent awareness. The Seond City bodies harbored deep resentment—not just toward their creators, but toward any who crossed their path. They sought vengeance, but the architects of their suffering had long since vanished. Without their true targets, they turned their wrath upon Londoners. A plan was formed. If the true culprits could not be found, then a substitution would have to be made. The ushabtiu had to be deceived into believing the subjects of their wrath lay just behind the mirrors.[33]
To that end, Gebrandt called upon Londoners to assist in manufacturing vast quantities of a specially formulated perfume.[34] With the help of the citizenry,[35] a great machine was built to disperse the mist city-wide, luring the ushabtiu into the Museum’s Egyptology Wing, where a great mirror awaited. As the last of the statues marched through into Parabola, Gebrandt shattered the mirror behind them, sealing the creature in.[36] A rare bout of rain, formed by the machine, later washed away the lingering perfume, and London erupted into celebration at the resolution of the crisis.[37]
However, not all the ushabtiu were accounted for. The majority were last seen heading toward the Palace of the Rising before scattering across Parabola.[38] Yet, a few stragglers remained in London, posing a fresh challenge for the Department of Menace Eradication.[39]
↑F.F. Gebrandt's Prelapsarian Exhibition, Failbetter Games"F.F. Gebrandt CORDIALLY INVITES All Londoners to participate in the Raising of a New Museum of Prelapsarian History & accompanying Exhibition, to put on Display Curiosities Historical, Palaeontological, & Philosophical."
↑The Prelapsarian Exhibition: Building a Museum, Fallen London"It is unclear to Londoners, 40 years after the Fall, what business Mssr. M_____ made his fortune in. Some say he was a wine merchant in France; others that he was a Corsican mining magnate. His palatial estate had lain in ruin ever since London fell, being squabbled over by his surviving relatives. The house is stately and Neoclassical; its abandonment has left it a rare example of unmodified prelapsarian architecture in London. It is now a hub of activity. Repairs are performed. Bedrooms and corridors widened into broad galleries. Money and attention transform what time and bitterness had left to rot. There is no shortage of work to be done; Gebrandt wants the museum to be ready quickly, and will take help from all comers."
↑Perform backbreaking labour, Fallen London"You are given a sledgehammer and told to knock down a few superfluous walls. Corridors widen into galleries. Rows of bedrooms become exhibition spaces."
↑Negotiate with rats, Fallen London"You broker a multi-part deal between different factions of rats and the Museum's future administrators: jobs for some rats, financial reparation for others."
↑Soothe recalcitrant investors, Fallen London"You appeal to their vanities: perhaps a wing or exhibit might be named in their memory. Perhaps there will be a plaque. Perhaps they might stand closer to the ribbon during the Grand Opening."
↑Deliver a load of sphinxstone, Fallen London"A team of heavy horses and a Taciturn Driver bring it from the docks all the way to the back street behind the museum, away from prying eyes. Clay porters disappear the silk-wrapped stones into the building.But the door is left carelessly open: a large parlour has been converted into a windowless stone chamber, with basalt mortared in place around its perimeter. Through the opening, you catch a glimpse of some kind of machine, mid-assembly, in the middle of the floor."
↑Get the wheels of bureaucracy nice and lubricated (50 FATE), Fallen London"A Delicate Minister runs the Department of Parks, Cemeteries, & Public Amenities. But those in the know (i.e., your good self) know that the true power in that office is a Bespectacled Urbanist. One word from him and you can get the Museum listed as a public park, which has invaluable fiduciary implications..."
↑Purchase a clinking tower of tokens (Prelapsarian Exhibition) (50 FATE), Fallen London"A Fidgeting Clerk pulls you to a side table as she counts out your teetering pile of burnished coins. She rubs one of the faces. "Never seen this much gold before. It can't be real. They say Gebrandt makes these coins in her factories." Is that a faint metallic sheen to her fingers? You are not permitted to leave with your haul until you sign an agreement, promising not to put the tokens in your mouth."
↑Obtain some starting cash, Fallen London"The buttery-gold coins clink satisfyingly as they drop into your hand. "Redeemable at all major vendors within museum grounds! Courtesy of F.F. Gebrandt and the Prelapsarian Exhibition. Enjoy your visit!""
↑F.F. Gebrandt's Hall of Recent History (Prelapsarian Exhibition), Fallen London"Gebrandt's sponsors and admirers have sent her a variety of oddities and trinkets 'in case she wants to put them on display'. Ever the entrepreneur, Gebrandt has accepted all of these donations – even (and especially!) those clearly not prelapsarian in origin. Any items not fit for the august shelves of her museum have been catalogued, valued, and put up for sale to the masses."
↑The Prelapsarian Museum: Osteological Exhibits, Fallen London"The Palaeontology Wing is meant as an antidote to the 'misinformation' and 'charlatanry' that overflows from the Bone Market. Every bone is carefully examined and catalogued before it can be accepted."
↑The Osteology Lab, Fallen London"In the back rooms of the Natural History wing, the Museum's staff is always at work cataloguing and identifying bones and fossils. Gebrandt has granted you, as a naturalist of some standing, access to this space."
↑The Prelapsarian Museum: Optical Exhibits, Fallen London"The Natural Sciences wing of the museum will contain demonstrations and samples of wonders that are only recently known to chemistry and physics. The centrepiece of this wing will be a series of exhibits on neathy optics – the properties of light that can only exist in the dark."
↑The Inorganic Sciences Wing, Fallen London"This smaller wing is filled with demonstrations and samples chosen to educate the public on matters of physics and chemistry. Bell jars filled with identically colourless gasses on pedestals. Contrived little experiments with ropes and pulleys to teach schoolchildren the principles of engineering. A few gaps where exhibits used to be – it seems regular repairs are required. Or, perhaps, they were taken out for the sake of safety."
↑The Archaeology Wing, Fallen London"That is how it is formally known, though everyone – Gebrandt's own assistants included – calls it the Egyptology Wing. Gebrandt has some arrangement with the Masters that allows her to display Second City materials openly like this. But maybe it doesn't extend to calling it that on the signage."
↑Find yourself a drink, Fallen London"His Amused Lordship spared no expense in bringing the contents of his cellars out to the "lawn" of the museum. Rumour has it he had to buy back many of the wines that were sold off after the cancellation of his Revel to End all Revels."
↑Make your way inside the museum, Fallen London"By the time you slither your way through the shocked crowd, the royal entourage has already made its way through the museum and into the Egyptology Wing. The ground level is thronged, but you can make your way up the stairs, to the upper galleries – and the one overlooking the room at the very back of the museum. The panelled interior of this room – previously a study, or a sitting room – has been covered up with rows of basalt blocks. Sphinxstone from the Salt Lions; so this is where that ended up."
↑Watch as Gebrandt explains her machine, Fallen London"The stone body of the Salt Lions accumulates time like a mortal body accumulates heavy metals. It is a toxicological phenomenon. [...] We are able to separate out the relevant principles through dialysis, making certain segments of the past available to us."
↑Watch, yet more furtively, Fallen London"The Consort – whether that is the real man or a shadow conjured up from the fog – has cornered himself against the walls in fear. He pleads with the Empress in ragged German, and she pleads back with him – soothing and begging."
↑Watch, yet more furtively, Fallen London"The Consort – whether that is the real man or a shadow conjured up from the fog – has cornered himself against the walls in fear. He pleads with the Empress in ragged German, and she pleads back with him – soothing and begging. A semicircle of courtiers draws upon a lifetime of purposefully not seeing things, and keep their composure intact."
↑Watch, yet more furtively, Fallen London""I am turning the machine off," yells Gebrandt – for the first time you notice the dull hum that has filled the room, making it hard to hear her speak. For the first time, the Empress acknowledges her with a hiss: "We forbid it!""
↑Collapse to the ground, Fallen London"Everyone around you – passers-by, urchins, the Empress' servants and hangers-on – looks a little green. Londoners lean on lamp posts to steady themselves. It appears it's not just you, then. You can tell that something has changed – but what?"
↑The Spread of a Novel Fad, Fallen London"Londoners have immediately taken to the streets with wheelbarrows laden with oversized ushabtiu, hawking them for cut-rate prices. Alas, it was too much to hope that this wouldn't become an opportunity for base commerce. Perhaps you should buy one?"
↑Unlock the door (Spite and Malice), Fallen London"Your home has not been rudely tossed and trashed. But everything is subtly off – antimacassars have been moved from the sofa to the end table and vice-versa; tins of different teas have had their contents swapped. Undergarments dangle from hangers while coats and jackets are stuffed in drawers. In a way, this is worse. It'll take weeks to fully undo. Someone has struck at the very heart of the way you live. It takes you several minutes to find the clean garment you were looking for. Who could be responsible for this?"
↑Investigation into an Ongoing Crisis, Fallen London"You are not the only one with this idea, it seems. A small crowd of Londoners has formed around the museum, demanding to be let into the Egyptology Wing, to get at the knowledge therein. They all seem to have experienced similar mishaps – some more severe than others."
↑Join the angry mob, Fallen London"Citizens, please." Gebrandt has come to the doors of the museum. "I don't have the answers you're looking for. But maybe we can find them together." Suspicious eyes shoot out among the crowd; it's starting to sound like she's proposing the good people of London help themselves. Maybe even work towards a common goal. A radical notion if ever there was one. She sighs. "If you promise to be orderly I'll let you come inside. I'll explain everything." She shoots an icy glare to a few urchins among the crowd wearing makeshift respectable-Londoner disguises. "Not you."
↑Watch Gebrandt's demonstration, Fallen London"We have ascertained the purpose of the stone entities that are stalking us," she says, drawing a liquid out of a decanter and into a stoppered vial. "They contain the bodies of Second City dwellers who abandoned their city for the shores of Parabola. But the statues themselves seem to have grasped some kind of malicious awareness. They resent their sacrificial role, and this possesses them to take revenge on their creators – or just whoever is nearby. Which is to say, ourselves." Out of a side room, one of Gebrandt's assistants has dragged out a mirror on casters. "They would cease their harassment if we could send them off after those that they are truly angry at. But the original inhabitants of the Second City are long gone, and impossible to locate. We will therefore have to make a substitution of our own – make it appear as though their true masters are just beyond the mirror."
↑Cover your nose, Fallen London"The scent is heady – borne aloft by ethanol. [...] "I've made enough to clear out the immediate vicinity of the museum. But with some help, I could scale up to industrial quantities. Enough to manage all of London.""
↑Hear her call to action, Fallen London"[…] one must make the obvious connection to the emergence of prelapsarian architecture around London."[…] "To fight this new menace, we must understand it. […] I have some ideas. But most of the knowledge we need is out there – I need your help finding it.""
↑Stay and watch what happens, Fallen London"Gebrandt is holding a large steel mallet. She counts a few seconds [...] When no more ushabtiu materialize, she swings the hammer. The mirror [...] shatters into a million little pieces. A wave of catharsis washes over the [...] members of the investigation."
↑In Which a Rare Meteorological Phenomenon, Seldom Seen in London, is Recorded, Fallen London"Raindrops batter the window panes of the museum. The sound, for those who have lived on the Surface, is intensely nostalgic – rain, true rain, is rarely seen in London. [...] An impromptu revel threatens to begin. But all of you are tired, and a newly ushabti-free home beckons. When you walk out into the streets, you find them drenched; the smell of water hitting cobblestones has replaced every trace of Gebrandt's perfume."
↑Discuss the fate of the Ushabtiu, Fallen London"In Parabola, one presumes. My understanding is that they briefly visited the Palace of the Rising and then moved on into the deepest jungles. Perhaps they found the trail of what they were looking for." She shrugs. "Or perhaps they are merely lost. Who can say?"
↑Contract: A Malicious Ushabti, Fallen London"London still plays host to a number of limestone menaces – rogue ushabtiu who escaped the events at the museum. Help the Department clean up the stragglers."
