"The index of notability is Slowcake's Exceptionals, which is widely read... even in the heights of the Bazaar. Especially in the heights of the Bazaar."[1]
Mr Slowcake is the official editor and custodian of Slowcake’s Exceptionals, the definitive guide to who truly matters in London society.
"Mr Slowcake would never do something so crass as to appear in public. He's avoided it since the Fall, and isn't about to start now."[2]
As the unseen overseer of the Exceptionals, Mr Slowcake curates and ranks London's most distinguished figures, shaping the very notion of Notability.[3] Beyond this, he is also credited as the author of Slowcake’s Etiquette Guide, a manual for proper conduct among London’s elite.[4] Despite his apparent influence, Mr. Slowcake remains an enigma. He has no known address in London, preferring to reside in a mansion in Hell;[5] he belongs to no clubs, attends no social gatherings, and does not visit his own offices.[6] A curiously reclusive man — or, as some suspect, not a man at all.
Slowcake's chief representative and assistant is the Amanuensis. Taken into Slowcake's employ just after the Fall,[7] he is the actual party responsible for maintaining Slowcake's Exceptionals. A familiar figure to those seeking recognition in London's elite circles, he frequently visits individuals to discuss their standing, offering opportunities to enhance their prominence in society.[8] He visits notable figures, interviews them to judge their notability,[9] and adjusts entries in "Slowcake's Exceptionals" accordingly.[10] Though the process is intended to be merit-based, the Amanuensis is vulnerable to bribes[11] and seduction.[12]
Prospective applicants must purchase an entry in order for their name to appear in Slowcake's Exceptionals,[13] after which they are monitored by private detectives.[14] The organization's true allegiances are murky; the Bazaar takes a keen interest in the Notable,[15][16] and the devils of the Brass Embassy have their own quiet stake in the book’s operations.[17]
Mayoral Campaign
"Mr Slowcake's candidacy was announced via a three page spread in the Gazette. The argument was long-winded, but its thrust was simple: after years of collating the names of prominent Londoners in his book, Mr Slowcake has had enough. "Mr Slowcake believes birth and wealth shouldn't determine status: one's notability is all that matters. He offers equality of opportunity. He offers London the chance to become a city of station; a place where every soul has its proper place, determined by its worth alone."[18]
London runs on notability.
Mr Slowcake ran for Mayor of London in 1896. Under the slogan "To Every Soul Its Station,"[19] his platform centered on redefining social structure around merit and notability, rather than birth or wealth.[20][21] His campaign was managed entirely by his Amanuensis, as Mr. Slowcake himself remained conspicuously absent from public appearances as usual.[22] As a larger goal, Slowcake aimed to democratize London's neighborhoods and institutions, and host public forums to collect citizens' opinions.[23] He garnered support from a diverse array of Londoners, from society patrons and vicars, to zailors and the impoverished.[22]
Mr Slowcake's campaign was initially claimed to operate out of Elderwick, but was actually run within the Brass Embassy. Its self-promotion was haphazard, but its intelligence network was so thorough that it hired analysts to develop voter profiles based on detailed personality studies.[24] Despite the fact that Feducci had used a near-identical platform the year prior[25] and made a corrupt farce of it,[26][27] some were eager to adopt Slowcake's plan of egalitarian reform; others questioned the integrity of Slowcake's rankings and the matter of whether he existed at all.[28] Ultimately, the Jovial Contrarian won the election. The Amanuensis was not too upset, though he wished Slowcake had run for Mayor the year prior, perhaps alluding to the similarity between his goals and Feducci's.[29]
The Slowcake is a Lie
"There are some things we were not meant to know, they say. But you wouldn't be down here if you took that seriously."
Beyond this point lie spoilers for Fallen London, Sunless Sea, Sunless Skies, or Mask of the Rose. This may include midgame or minor Fate-locked content. Proceed with caution.
You can find out more about our spoiler policy here.
"We've run out of candidates willing to pretend to be Mr Slowcake. If I tell you, I will assume you'll stop pestering us."[30]
Mr Slowcake is a complete fabrication, an invented figure created to serve the interests of the Brass Embassy.[17] His book, Slowcake’s Exceptionals, is not only a registry of London’s elite but a calculated mechanism for soul acquisition. By exploiting British perceptions of social class, the devils have devised a way to rank, categorize, and manipulate Londoners, drawing in those desperate for recognition and ensuring their influence extends deep into the city's power structures.[31] This feat of social engineering is also an experiment: a study of how political ambition and power shape the human soul. Slowcake winning the election would not have been an accomplishment, so much as a means to continue the experiment from within the city's government, allowing the Embassy to refine its methods of control and observation.[32]
When someone is assigned to act as Mr Slowcake, the role is purely a functional one; his stand-ins are mere bureaucratic cogs, who are made to approve and reject names and adjust rankings. It is a relentless and taxing, but partially automated, process — so that even if the person performing the role changes, the system grinds on uninterrupted. It could be said that the real Slowcake is not a man, but a machine.[33]
Historical & Cultural Inspirations
Slowcake's Exceptionals draws significant inspiration from the historical British reference work Who's Who. First published in 1849, Who's Who began as a handbook of titled classes, listing names without biographical details. Over time, it evolved into a comprehensive directory featuring concise biographies of prominent individuals across various fields.
↑Notability, Fallen London"The index of notability is Slowcake's Exceptionals, which is widely read... even in the heights of the Bazaar. Especially in the heights of the Bazaar."
↑HOJOTOHO! (Story), Fallen London"The Valkyrie is considerably cleaner now, and her clothes considerably finer. She has woven a feather into her hair – one from her pet white raven. Upon seeing you, she drops her copy of Slowcake's Etiquette and runs over to give you a hug."
↑Just who is Mr Slowcake?, Fallen London"Mr. Slowcake has no address. He makes no appearances. He is a member of no clubs and no academic societies. He does not deign to visit the offices of the book's writers or publishers. Perhaps he doesn't exist at all."
↑Ask Mr Slowcake's Opinion on the Jovial Contrarian, Fallen London"The Amanuensis takes you to a secluded courtyard behind St Dunstan's. "Just after Mr Slowcake confirmed my employment, I took a walk here," he says, sighing fondly. "This was just after the Fall. Leaves from the Surface were still here, browning, trapped under fallen stones.""
↑A visit from Slowcake's Amanuensis, Fallen London"[…] MR ____ ______, Assistant to Mr Slowcake. "I have dispensed with my name […] Along with other encumbrances. […] You [...] may be more significant than we had thought. I wonder if your entry […] ought to be a little more prominent? […]"
↑"The company I keep speaks for me.", Fallen London"His pencil flies across his note-pad. A haze of graphite arises. You drop names and recount encounters with the artless casualness of a Mahogany Hall singer strewing flowers. He is impressed. Is he impressed enough?"
↑Bribe the man, Fallen London"A furtive red spark of interest enlivens the glassy darkness of his eyes. "As it happens, my employers do have... certain requirements.""
↑Flirt with the Amanuensis, Fallen London"The Amanuensis' collar seems too tight for him. He squirms like a school-boy. He has difficulty looking you in the eye, but he can't seem to resist a […] impish smile. He leaves, reluctantly, after making quite a number of notes in his little book."
↑A private detective, Fallen London"A junior editor of Slowcake's Exceptionals - the guide to the notable citizens of the Neath - wants you to monitor a potential listee."
↑Notability, Fallen London"The index of notability is Slowcake's Exceptionals, which is widely read... even in the heights of the Bazaar. Especially in the heights of the Bazaar."
↑"And why would I care how Notable I am?", Fallen London"You might as well have asked him why the dark or what the sky.[…] Eventually he confesses, with obvious pain, that the Bazaar itself monitors the Notable, and arranges 'certain starring roles' for them. Further than that, he will not be drawn."
↑ 17.017.1Just who is Mr Slowcake?, Fallen London"Mr. Slowcake is fiction. [...] he is the invention of a cabal of devils. It takes all your skill [...], but you are convinced. The force behind Slowcake's Exceptionals is the Brass Embassy. Of course, this raises more questions than it answers."
↑Mr Slowcake (Card), Fallen London"Mr Slowcake believes birth and wealth shouldn't determine status: one's notability is all that matters. He offers equality of opportunity. He offers London the chance to become a city of station; a place where every soul has its proper place, determined by its worth alone."
↑Talk to the Amanuensis, Fallen London"The Amanuensis beams [...] "Ah! A pleasure to speak with such a talent. [...] What we want – Mr Slowcake and myself – is a London where class is not the great equaliser. Instead, the equaliser will be us." He fishes in his tailored frock coat for a copy of Slowcake's Exceptionals. "This has been a remarkable start. It is not filled with just baronets and brigadiers. Wealth, alas, does heavily influence entry. But, were we not reliant on printing costs etc. – why, we could do all sorts of things." He sighs."
↑ 22.022.1Mr Slowcake (Card), Fallen London"Mr Slowcake would never do something so crass as to appear in public. [...] Campaigning is left in the hands of his capable followers, headed by the ubiquitous Amanuensis. They consist of rich and poor, society patrons and matriarchs of industry to urchins, zailors and pickpockets."
↑Ask about Mr Slowcake's plans for London, Fallen London"A notorious dowager tells you of a Subcommittee of Merit, designed to inspect property across London, and reassign it as necessary. A group of urchins wish to nationalise the Flit. A suffragist wishes for votes for Rubberies. A disillusioned Constable has plans for a People's Banquet. [...] "we're keen to get ideas. Favour a people's forum – they are such an exceptional resource for intelligence-gathering. Should Mr Slowcake triumph, we shall staff the Residence with the people. The Borough Council shall be democratised. Perhaps even the Ministry.""
↑Choose a Target: Mr Slowcake's Campaign, Fallen London"Mr Slowcake's campaign headquarters is given as an address in Elderwick, but [...] Mayor Feducci had the house demolished a year ago. More ferreting gets you the actual location: a suite in the Brass Embassy. Security inside is lax [...] A mix of sub-editors, devils and both work the campaign. Their approach to campaigning is haphazard. Lazy slogans and badly designed leaflets predominate in the campaign literature. The campaign staff are extremely assiduous in gathering intelligence however: mathematicians and analysts work around the clock to develop 'voter profiles' based on the habits and personalities of London's voting population."
↑Feducci's Campaign, Fallen London"The master of the Black Ribbon duelling society has amassed a formidable following. His jet and crimson banners herald his arrival […]. "Fair Play, Fair Game" is his slogan, and is the tenet by which one rises and falls within his ranks."
↑Trade Feducci's Favour for a Commemorative Certificate, Fallen London"He pulls out a readily prepared certificate […] Then, with a flourish, he scrawls something. He hands the certificate over: "I presume you'll hang this prominently." His titles have no more force than nicknames. Maybe this is for the best […]"
↑The Mayor of London (Feducci), Fallen London"Feducci has thoroughly […] redesigned Blythenhale. […] Gambling tables are liberally spread […]. The floorboards are demarcated with chalk, setting the boundaries for duellists. Eager Londoners gather to wager their goods and lives. You've been invited."
↑Ask the Contrarian's opinion of Mr Slowcake, Fallen London"There are two schools of thought," the Jovial Contrarian says. "Either he is the purest egalitarian London's ever known and his book is a precise instrument of social engineering. Or he's a squalid little social climber exerting what influence he can through his grubby book. How does one get into it? Who truly rises by merit alone?" A wicked grin spreads across his face like butter on toast. "Of course there's a third school that says he doesn't even exist."
↑Have a word with Mr Slowcake, Fallen London "The Amanuensis beams [...] "Hello! Hello – yes, I think it's all gone rather splendidly. The things we found out – though one wishes we'd ran last year when Feducci was in the running. We'd have really gotten some information then! But still – Mr, ah, Slowcake is exceedingly pleased. And we've not had to bother with the expense of getting him here.""
↑Meet Mr Slowcake, Fallen London"A devil in a sharp pinstripe suit is pouring wine when you enter the waiting room. "Hello. I am Mr Slowcake, or, rather, I am responsible for Mr Slowcake." He lays the whole scheme out for you. The invention of a new methodology for soul acquisition, the rigidity of the British class structure presenting new opportunities. The devil smiles as he finishes, as though he's passed a test. "And thus began Mr Slowcake and Slowcake's Exceptionables." He leads you to the train."
↑Meet Mr Slowcake, Fallen London"The Amanuensis is waiting for you, head in his hands. "We've run out of candidates willing to pretend to be Mr Slowcake. If I tell you, I will assume you'll stop pestering us." Sweat beads on his brow. He explains Mr Slowcake is not real; has never been real; quite probably will never be real. They will deal with that difficulty as and when he is elected. The real goal has been the observation and measurement of the impact of the political process on the mortal soul. The early results are promising. The work can continue when the levers of government are in the control of the Brass Embassy. Observational work; analytical work; necessary work. Now. Will you please go away? The train is waiting."
↑Moonlight as Mr Slowcake (12 FATE), Fallen London"The address turns out to be the Brass Embassy. A Brisk Deviless swoops in to lead you to the Offices of Mr Slowcake. There is a lectern, covered with crisp dossiers and, a mechanical press. You are strapped into the chair. "I'll be back later. With edibles," she says, as though letting you in on a great secret. Machinery automates much of your work. Your pen replaced when the ink runs dry; your fingers cracked when they begin to ache. The press presents dossiers for approval and disapproval. You recognise names and dispense justice accordingly. You find yourself and make the necessary adjustments. At the end of the day, the Brisk Deviless returns. She helps you out of the chair. "You can go now. The machine will see to the rest of the day's work." You watch as a metal arm whirrs into motion, selecting the next dossier."
