The Museum of Mistakes

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"Everyone has heard of the Museum of Mistakes. Hardly anyone has been inside it."[1]

The Museum of Mistakes is a dusty old institution on Ladybones Road[2] run by the Ministry of Public Decency,[3] and a d__nable pain to actually get into. It holds all sorts of ancient things, reminders of old indiscretions and errors.

Halls of Shame[edit | edit source]

The Museum has seventy-seven doors, but not all of them are real; some are just painted onto the wall, while others hold traps designed to give any intruder a really miserable day.[4] Perhaps it’d be best to enter legitimately… but that might be an even more difficult task, given the bureaucratic labyrinth[5] that is the nine-stage application process.[6][7]

The following are known to be on display in the Museum:

  • A corroded brass microscope smelling faintly of ammonia[8]
  • Recovered musket-balls:[9] possibly from the Campaign of '68, London's catastrophic attempt to invade Hell
  • Jade carvings[10]
  • A half-eaten fig[11]
  • A three thousand year old bit of black sailcloth, labelled 'Achaean, c 1200BC'[11]
  • Thirty First City Coins:[11] may refer to the sale of the First City itself, or Judas' betrayal of Jesus in exchange for 30 silver coins.
  • Diamonds[9]
  • A stuffed two-headed bat, almost the size of a man[11]
  • Two locks of hair; one amber, one dark[11]

Grim Reminders[edit | edit source]

The Dadd Wing contains the museum's collection of human remains[12][13] and requires a separate ticket to enter.[14] It houses glass cases, sarcophagi,[15] the skin of of human faces,[16] part of a skull,[17] and its oldest exhibit,[18] a collection of ushabti and canopic jars donated by one Troubled Painter.[19] This Painter lives in the Royal Bethlehem Hotel, and his name is implied to start with an R.[20]

Historical and Cultural Inspirations[edit | edit source]

The mysterious painter and namesake of the Dadd Wing may be Richard Dadd. In real life, Dadd was a troubled but prolific illustrator who produced most of his best-known work while in psychiatric hospitals (one of which was Bethlem Royal Hospital).[21]

The half-eaten fig references the biblical Book of Genesis; a serpent tempts Eve to eat the forbidden fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for which she and Adam are banished from Eden. Many interpretations have identified the fruit as a fig.

The black sailcloth is a nod to the legendary Greek hero Theseus, prince of Athens. Theseus is far from a perfect hero, and this cloth represents one of his earliest errors. He sails to Crete to slay the Minotaur, aiming to end the practice of sending fourteen young Athenians to Crete as tribute to sate the beast's hunger. Before Theseus left, he and his father King Aegeus had agreed that if he survived, he would hoist a white (or red) sail, and if he died, his ship's black sails would remain aloft. Unfortunately, Theseus forgets to change the sail upon his return, and when Aegeus sees the ship approaching, he assumes his son is dead. Overcome by grief, the king throws himself into the sea.

The locks of hair may be a reference to the biblical story of Samson, an Israelite blessed with superhuman strength provided he never cut his hair; and his lover Delilah, bribed by the rival Philistines to discover the secret behind his power. Delilah finally convinces Samson to confess the truth about his hair, and she cuts it while he sleeps. Left powerless, Samson is captured, blinded, enslaved, and finally paraded as a trophy at a great gathering of the Philistines. He prays to God for a final burst of strength, which he uses to bring down the temple over his head - sacrificing his own life to kill thousands of his enemies.

References[edit | edit source]

  1. ↑ The Museum of Mistakes, Fallen London
  2. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London "The entrance lies behind a gate of amber on Ladybones Road."
  3. ↑ Prepare your Theft from the Museum of Mistakes!, Fallen London "Very few are permitted to visit the Museum. It's the direct responsibility of the Ministry of Public Decency, which manages secrets too lethal or embarrassing or disgusting for public exposure. [...]"
  4. ↑ Reconnoitre, Fallen London "The Museum has seventy-seven doors. (Why does that number sound familiar?) Some are locked. Some are bricked up. Some are painted on the wall. Some are designed to leap outwards under the pressure of tremendous springs and squash interlopers flat. And if you think that's bad, you should see the windows."
  5. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London "The Ministry uses every weapon in its formidable battery of paperwork to dissuade visitors to the Museum."
  6. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London "There is a nine-stage application process. You're probably going to need more ink."
  7. ↑ Use your contacts to prepare the ground, Fallen London "You discover details of the nine-stage application for entry; information about the false doors and the glass walls; a fragment of a route through the labyrinth of the display cases which – one scribbled note claims – reconfigures itself nightly."
  8. ↑ Sidebar Snippets: Snow in the Neath?, Fallen London "The Neath's annual snowfall has been studied. The learned men of the Department of Chiropterochronometry have attempted to incorporate it into their theories of bat rotation. The microscope that was used still exists. It can be seen in the Museum of Mistakes to this very day. The brass is horribly corroded, but the lenses are essentially intact."
  9. ↑ 9.0 9.1 Steal the coins!, Fallen London "[...] A cabinet full of recovered musket balls? [...] And here's a tray of diamonds that will go some way towards covering your expenses. [...]"
  10. ↑ Attend with pleasure, Fallen London "The Museum is yours for the evening […] Your bandaged guide is quick to supply an anecdote or dry remark about any item that catches your eye. He picks up a jade carving you particularly admire and slips it in your pocket. […]"
  11. ↑ 11.0 11.1 11.2 11.3 11.4 Find a way in, Fallen London "[...] A tray of thirty First City coins. A stuffed two-headed bat almost the size of a man. A scrap of black sail-cloth labelled 'Achaean, c 1200BC'. Two locks of hair, one dark and the other amber-coloured. The centrepiece of the Museum is a single half-eaten fig. It is unlabelled: but this must be the 'demi-consumed fruit' of the Dilmun Club's monograph."
  12. ↑ Visit the Museum of Mistakes, Fallen London
  13. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London ’The Dadd Wing houses the Museum's collection of human remains.’
  14. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London ’ADMITTANCE to the DADD WING ONLY, it says, in tiny print. And on the back: Not valid for other wings. Entry at bearer's own risk.’
  15. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London ’ Its gallery is crammed – on both ground floor and mezzanine – with sarcophagi, dusty glass cases, and tables of jumbled exhibits.’
  16. ↑ Ask around 6, Fallen London
  17. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London ’It is a round curve of thin bone. You examine the label: Calvarium. Canterbury, 1170.’
  18. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London ’"Its oldest exhibit is a collection of statuettes and jars."’
  19. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London ’Their plaque is less gnomic than most. Ushabtiu & canopic jars. Nile valley. It names the donor as a certain Troubled Painter.’
  20. ↑ The Affair of the Impatient Apprentice, Fallen London ’Eventually, you find a copy of the Museum's correspondence with the Troubled Painter, misfiled under 'R'. You note his address: a suite at the Royal Bethlehem Hotel.’
  21. ↑ Richard Dadd, Wikipedia
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