Iron Republic Journal
What... what did that place do to you?
A compilation of all the "Today in the Iron Republic..." stories for documentation purposes.
Day One
...a boy and his mother built a snowman out of factory ashes. Or did the snowman build them? Would that make him or them an ash-man? You can't tell, they're all the same gray color. Everyone is gray here, the factories are gray, the beggars are gray, even the docks are gray. And by gray you mean screaming. The boy is screaming. The snowman is screaming. You are screaming. You curse the Mountain for her unwarranted vitality. In return, a large piece of diamond hits you on the head. Is she...smirking? You pocket the gem before Mr Stones finds it, he could be anywhere right now. Like over there! No, that's just a man with spoons for hands. Do the Masters ever leave London? Best not to find out the hard way.
Day Two
...the rain is finally here! Oh how it beats down, relentless and choking, on your coat, your hat, your skin, your face, you can barely say a word without catching a mouthful of the stuff. This is...not like the rain of the surface, nor that of the Fallen London. This the purest form of precipitation, this...is rain. And it hurts. As you take shelter under a tarp you ask a man if it ever rained small, domestic animals. He laughs, his face the shape of an inbred donkey. "That was last week's rain, newcomer, next week we're getting weasels and bats!"
Day Three
...the Iron Republic is Aestival! Ah, the sunlight, how you have missed it! The surface-plants! The beaches! The fact that this is not Aestival! It is Mangroove College! Everything is dark, rotted, and shabby, but you've been in the Iron Republic long enough that you know that even the slightest courtesy is a luxury out here. This place reminds you of Pigmote Isle, strangely enough. You would be there...if the Iron Republic wasn't Watchmaker's Hill. Why is it always the d___ Hill? What is this, the Castle? The Horizon? Since when does everything converge at this point? Then suddenly, the Iron Republic is...the Iron Republic! Again! For the first time since your arrival here you can finally breathe a sigh of relief. Well you would, if it wasn't for that damnable violinist! Curse those street performers, especially those with Irish fiddles!.
Day Four
...the elephants have arrived! Good lord, the elephants are here. They are huge, ferocious, and they are utterly without mercy. And they hunger. In your desperation to escape, you rush back to the docks, only to find that the bastards are amphibious. And they murdered a boat. Risking a glance at the streets, you notice a rather bohemian lady chopping up unfortunate bystanders with an ax. While on fire. Jack-of-Smiles would be proud.
Day Five
...it is truly a new era for us all! A star rises from below the ground, melting and burning, and you just found out that water can melt. It doesn't make a ton of sense; anyway, fiery, melted water now covers every centimetre of the Republic's territory. Good thing that your boots shrank this morning; otherwise you would have suffered the same fate as those who decided to go out with their soles covered today. They evaporated instantly, and are now gradually precipitating as very sad and green snowflakes. You are absolutely sure they will be fine though; as people say: "There's nothing that coffee from the House of Milks can't fix." Oh, they don't say that; that's actually a Market of Hungers promotion screaming inside your head. Anyway, the dragon is right there and ready, so you can have a drink at your leisure.
By Observator42
