The Seventh Sacristan

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"Are you quite sure you want to know this?"

Beyond this point lie major spoilers for Fallen London, Sunless Sea, Sunless Skies, or Mask of the Rose. This may include endgame or major Fate-locked spoilers. Proceed at your own risk.

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"They praise His Holiness. They bless His Seventh Butler. They recite every order carved into its ten-thousand teeth: And here those with two claws, and here those with dewclaws, and here those with wingspans exceeding one day's span, and here those with fangs that drip wine, and here those..."[1]

The Seventh Sacristan, or the Seventh Butler, is an organ-agent of the Presbyterate that serves as the Prester’s maw.[2] It is an enormous and rather literally cavernous creature, with ten thousand sharp teeth,[3] claws larger than church spires,[4] and a hide that is at least partially made of flint.[4]

The Sacristan haunts the Prickfinger Wastes,[5] preying on the bats that dwell there.[6] It can draw anything nearby into its jaws with a single breath;[7] the vast interior cavity inside its body leads to its stomach, where alkaline pools[8] and tendrils[9] dissolve its prey.[10] Despite its flinty hide, this creature appears to be otherwise organic.[11] It abhors the Neathbow color peligin, and expels anything of that color with a sneeze.[12][13]

Deep in its bowels, the Sacristan also has a "garden,"[14][15] where flying creatures are captured,[16] killed, and dried[17] to be prepared for the Prester's table by a group of Presbyterate agents.[18][19] The agents then impale their prey upon the Sacristan's teeth, precisely matched to the specifications etched into their enamel; there is a designated place for everything that flies.[20] Any flightless or peligin-touched being that survives to this point is unceremoniously expelled.[21]

References[edit]

  1. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London
  2. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "[...] They praise His Holiness. They bless His Seventh Butler. They recite every order carved into its ten-thousand teeth: And here those with two claws, and here those with dewclaws, and here those with wingspans exceeding one day's span, and here those with fangs that drip wine, and here those..."
  3. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "If it's hunting a grotto with ten-thousand teeth, then we're hunting a grotto with ten-thousand teeth. It'll hurt. We'll have to pay with blood. But I'm not turning back."
  4. 4.0 4.1 The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "In the fray, a ratwork switchblade flashes. You take aim with the Dour Eradicator and fire. Avoiding claws larger than church spires, the Patchwork Rat scrambles to dodge your bullets as they blast flint from the beast."
  5. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "Scattered bats wheel overhead. Zee-foam beards the rocks. Cold wind slices across the waves, and the grotto that isn't a grotto dips behind crags to retreat into the Wastes."
  6. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "You arrive just in time to see it feed. Teeth shine in a cavern mouth that chews and swallows bats by the dozen. Stalagmites that aren't stalagmites seize more flapping creatures from the air, packing their droves into jaws that grind like flint. Pebbles clink, the ground jitters again, and you lose the hillside as it roams amongst the crags."
  7. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "It can't dodge fast enough. The thing that's not a grotto yawns until its jaws are the sky. Bats vanish, sucked upward, as does the Patchwork Rat, as does the Dour Eradicator."
  8. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "Everything sticks, as though you were a spoon dunked into jam. Bats hang from the cavern in droves, clustered thick as sausage links in the best butcher's shop. With every breath, ammonia invades your sinuses." [Editor's note: Ammonia is a powerful base rather than an acid, and still capable of dissolving organic matter.]
  9. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "You see tendrils like boneless fingers stretching to explore the air. They pull the floating cadaver to bits. One limb lands on your lap."
  10. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "Corpses bob in a soup boiled from their own flesh. You balance on drifting islands, bones afloat in the broth. Fumes sharper than knives scrape your nose raw."
  11. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "Muscles like stones in the walls convulse, opening passageways. You rise with other bats who've found their way into these vaults. Tunnels funnel you higher, higher."
  12. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "Devoured her. Would've devoured me – except she dropped her snuffbox. I tripped into it. Got covered with the stuff. That didn't agree with the beast. It coughed me out. She weren't so fortunate." [Editor's note: the snuff is peligin.]
  13. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "Walls expand and contract as though they were calcified lungs gasping for breath. They gasp, and gasp – and a gale blasts you forward."
  14. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "All the bats burst into a larger space. Somewhere that echoes with a pitch to thrum your bones like zither strings. Liquid trickles. Little tongues lap. Your batling lands to drink."
  15. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "You smell springtime: a garden dense with roses, all the roses in the world. This is where you belong. This is where you should rest."
  16. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "You ascend past rustling creatures with wings. Some stir inside bottles as large as bathtubs. Some flutter with bags on their heads. You would have a bag on your head, but you cannot flutter."
  17. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "[...] Every wall is honeycombed with shelves. Every shelf is stocked with bats cocooned in linen wraps. Winged provender."
  18. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "One figure swings a censor: rose incense. Another swings a silver crook, hooking your batling by the throat. It falls as though its bones were curdled milk. They chant. Another for his table. Another for his mouth. Another for his larder."
  19. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "You weren't meant to see, and yet you see figures arise from acid pools. Gloved fingers hold dripping candles. Masks lacquer and stone and flesh survey the chamber, shadows stripped. [...]"
  20. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "[...] They recite every order carved into its ten-thousand teeth: And here those with two claws, and here those with dewclaws, and here those with wingspans exceeding one day's span, and here those with fangs that drip wine, and here those..."
  21. The Rat-Catcher, Fallen London "They see you. Unwinged. Unclean. Unfit for the Prester. Your hands and tongue and nose and ears aren't yours. As one figure sinks your batling into an enormous vat, another rings a bell. Your knees crumple. The vat boils. Bats churn a hurricane above your head."